Canoeing on Christmas 2015

Canoeing on Christmas 2015

Thursday, October 12, 2017

Not a __________ Person

I have heard and given the excuse "Sorry, I am just not a ________ person."  That blank is usually filled in with "Math", "Science", "People", "Spelling", "Names" or something similar.  I guess we feel like if we say we weren't born good at something we are excused from ever having to be decent at it.

The areas that I feel like I am the weakest in "handyman", "Mercy" or "Car."  I have used these excuses on a multitude of occasions in my life to excuse my inability to do something.  Are these really valid excuses for us to use as adults?  Sure, we all have different gifts and abilities.  Surely, some of us will excel at laboring with our hands better than others.  Some can do complex math problems and make them look easy.  Others can remember people's names and other details while I struggle to remember where my keys are.  But are we really given a free pass through life by saying I am not good at ________.  Are we then excused from ever trying to develop in that area?

In their awesome book "Do Hard Things" the Harris twins explain the silliness of this kind of thinking through an illustration.  Babies are born unable to walk, talk, feed themselves or use the restroom.  That's fine for infants and toddlers but by the time these kids reach school age they need to have come close to mastering these things.  It would be pretty awkward if an 8 year old said "I am not a walking person" or "I am just not gifted in the area of using the restroom, I think I will stick to my diaper."  Kind of a silly illustration but hopefully it paints a picture.

One of my focuses this year has been on trying new things. Specifically things that I consider manly.  I have taken on new projects, worked around the house, tried new things. Some things I have found I am truly no good at, YET, but with practice I am getting better.  Also, having a willingness to change and grow has proven useful and helpful. 

What about you?  What areas do you struggle in?  What are some weaknesses?  You need to spend the vast majority of your time working in the areas in which you are strong.  You definitely need to delegate out the work that you aren't gifted to perform, but at the same time have a willingness to spend some time improving your weaker areas.  The best way to get better at something is to do it.

Let me close with an undocumented/uncited story.  Two people were brought into an art studio.  One person was given an unlimited amount of clay and told to make as many pots as he could that week. His job was quantity  He spent his week making a ton of clay pots.  The other person was only given enough clay to make one pot and told to make the best clay pot he possible could.  His job was quantity.  Well, guess what?  By the end of the week the potter who only needed to make one clay pot hadn't delivered an excellent pot.  He made a pretty good one.  However, the potter who went for quantity had delivered an extremely high quality clay pot?  How did he do it.  Well he got to work and made so many pots that by the end of the week he had learned the secret to making a high quality product.  By being forced to work and produce a high quantity of the pots he learned how to make them with great quality.

Task:  Find one area in which you are weak and find ways to develop those skills.  Instead of saying I can't do it, or I am just not a __________ person, give it a try and see what can happen.

Monday, October 2, 2017

No Time for Envy or Jealousy

I posted this message on Facebook and Twitter earlier today:


You have zero right to look at somebody else's career success, wealth, house, car, fitness etc. and get jealous or envious. They have worked, sacrificed, studied, learned and grown in ways that I guarantee you haven't been wiling to. How can I guarantee that? Because if you were working, sacrificing, studying, learning and growing in that way you wouldn't have a spare second to be jealous or envious of anyone else.


Let's unpack it a little bit in the blog.  Almost all of the great men and women in history have had to endure a tremendous trial or negative circumstance.  It is typically the lessons that they learn through that tragedy or bad situation that allows them to excel and achieve at a high level.  Most of us want to experience the success without paying the price of going through the negative life event.  We want to earn "doctor/lawyer" money but are not willing to endure 7-10 years in college preparing.  We wish we had a beautiful house, but are unwilling to earn the money to pay for it or are unwilling to do the upgrades to make it possible.  We wish we were more successful as coaches, leaders or teachers but rarely read anything that will help us achieve those goals.  When was the last time we gave up a weekend to attend a training session or a leadership clinic.  Do we listen to talk radio, pop music, sports talk or Podcasts when we are in our cars driving around.  Are we actively turning off the TV so we can carve out time to develop the talents and abilities God has given us.

To sum it up a quick story... When I coached basketball at a camp in New York an obese teenager came up to me and said "when I make it to the NBA I am going to have an entire kitchen stocked full of junk food so I can eat whatever I want, whenever I want."  I tried to sensitively explain to him that in order to achieve his dream of playing in the NBA he would likely have to closely monitor his caloric intake and that he would have to sacrifice eating junk food in order to reach his goals.  Clearly crushed and dejected he walked away.  He had no intention of changing his lifestyle in order to reach his dreams.  How many of us are the same?  How many of us are unwilling to sacrifice in order to reach our dreams?