Better Communication

On Wednesday, January 23rd I had the opportunity to attend The National Seminars Training session on "Breaking Bad Communication Habits."  The other day I was asked by my Senior Pastor to present the info that I learned at the training to our church staff at The Open Door Church.  I was asked to put a "Christian" spin on the information.  I felt that this would be an easy task since all wisdom flows from principles laid out in the Bible.  Even common sense, practical wisdom used in the secular workforce can be traced back to the teachings in the Bible.  Here are my combined notes from when I spoke to the staff:

                                                        Better Communication Habits

Proverbs 21:23 "He who guards his mouth and his tongue, guards his soul from troubles."

-I want to take a few minutes and talk about the fact that we are always communicating and how to get our message out more effectively in our area of ministry.

-Remember that we spend all day, every day communicating.  When you think communication think sending and receiving signals.

                -We communicate via – verbally, visually, written word (email, social media, notes, books, etc.), and through our image (body language, attitude, word selection and tone of voice).

                -7% of a person’s response to your communication will be based on your words, 38% based on your tone/attitude and 55% is based on your image.

                -Body Language and Appearance communicate far more than language.

                -To improve your effectiveness as a communicator improve your attitude and image.

                -To improve your attitude there are a few things to try:

                                -Coffee, Health, Prayer Life, Servant’s Heart, Focus

                                                -Under Focus – With each instance of communication attempt to improve the lives of whoever you are communicating with.  For us in ministry, each communication opportunity should in a small way point others to Christ.

-To improve image take a look at your face and clothing.

                                -Put a smile on your face. Some of us may have to fake it for a few weeks until it becomes more natural.

                                -Dress – We have always heard “Don’t dress for the job you have, dress for the job you want.  Cross that out immediately.  It doesn’t work.  If I did that I would come in every day dressed in a baseball uniform because the job that I want is shortstop for the Cincinnati Reds. Here is a new standard…Dress slightly better than the audience you will be communicating with.

-Basic Communication Filter

                -Pass all communication through this filter: Does it Honor God, Display Grace and Draw People to Christ?

                -“Don’t Hit Send” until you can answer all 3 questions.

                -Galatians 5:14-16 Filter “…You shall love your neighbor as yourself. But if you bite and devour one another, take care that you are not consumed by one another. But I say, walk by the Spirit, and you will not carry out the desire of the flesh.”

-Make your ideas “sticky.”  Ie. Make them stick in people’s minds.  Are you like me and have to constantly remind people about things you have already communicated with them?  In the Youth Ministry I am constantly telling people when/where an event or activity will be.  We use Facebook, a Newsletter, Church Bulletin, Announcements, Texts, Emails, etc. and still people don’t know what is going on.  How about as a teacher (which almost all of us in this room are at some point in our ministry schedules) would you like what you teach to be retained better by your students?

-Here are some ideas to help your communications stick in peoples minds:

                -Use Humor 

                -Use Visuals 

                -Change things up 

                -Use real life examples

-5 Step Process for Resolving Conflict:

                Say:

                                -Here is What I Observe….

                                -For Example (Do you remember this happening)…

                                -Here is what would work better…

                                -When you do this (here is the way they benefit):

                                -Can I count on you to:

-3 Keys to help resolve conflicts:

                                -Don’t say “never” or “always”

                                -Don’t attack personality, deal only with behavior (only if you  observe the behavior, never act on hearsay).

-Only deal with the behavior you are confronting at that moment

The Importance of Mentoring

I was doing some reading and prep work this afternoon and came across a really good article on the importance of mentoring.  I am trying to continually move my Youth Group towards more and more mentoring.  This article only reinforced the need to do so more aggressively and quickly.  Let me share a few quotes that I found particularly powerful.  All citations come from “Shepherd is a Verb: The role of relational mentoring in communicating truth” by Jeff Meyers.  The article appears in a book entitled A New Kind of Apologist which was edited by Sean McDowell with a copyright date of 2016.  Here goes:

-“Growth happens when we walk with one another in our struggles.”  He was pointing out the need to be involved in the lives of those we lead.  I hate this saying but “we need to do life together.”  The teenagers we lead need to be around us.  Teaching lessons in a formal, classroom/church setting is great but ultimately teens will learn more about living for Christ by watching us attempt to do it in real life then they will be simply hearing a bunch of lessons about it.

“While mentoring is a common strategy in business, it has the potential to transform the church too.  The Barna Research Group found that twentysomethings who stay in church were twice as likely to have a close personal friendship with an adult inside the church. Those who had an adult mentor at church, aside from the pastor, were almost three times as likely to stay as those who did not.”  Wow!  Getting involved in the lives of the members of our Youth Group is a powerful, transformational agent.

“Academic training piles up kindling; personal life-on-life influence lights the match. Apologetics training is invaluable for this generation, but transformation takes place when that truth is experienced in relationship.”

I am still formulating exactly what the Youth Group I lead will look like this fall.  However, rest assured that it will involve a heavier emphasis on mentoring.  I know of many coaches and leaders who take their teams to dinner, go on events and outings together and find ways to spend time with those they lead.  I guarantee those players and teens who are involved won't remember every lesson taught on the field or in the classroom but they will remember vividly the time spent off the field with the coach/leader.  Whether you Lead, Coach or Teach find a way to get more involved with those you have the privilege to be involved with.

Paul Lundy

Where is Your Hope?

Where do you get your hope from?  What is your source of joy and strength?  If it is found in anything short of Jesus Christ you are in big trouble!  We are just a few days from Palm Sunday.  This historic event is recorded in all four Gospels (Matthew 21:1-17, Mark 11:1-18, Luke 19:28-48 and John 12:12-16).  Jesus arrives in Jerusalem on a colt that was secured by His disciples.  The people of Jerusalem lined the streets and sang out "Hosanna."  They believed that Jesus had entered Jerusalem to release them from the bondage of the Roman Empire.  They had placed their hope in Jesus establishing an earthly, physical Kingdom.  To the contrary Jesus had entered Jerusalem to die for all man's sins and become the Savior of the World.  His Kingdom was to be a spiritual kingdom.

The people who lined the streets celebrating Jesus quickly realized they had placed their hope in the wrong thing.  The physical over the spiritual.  What about us?  Do we ever place our hope in the wrong thing?  I say "Yes" and it can happen so easily and the results can be so disastrous. 

Here are some things that people put their hope in:

1.) Riches/Finances.  Anyone who follows the stock market or who has ever managed a household or business budget has come to realize that sometimes money is up.   Sometimes money is down.  Putting our hope in our financial resources is a recipe for disaster.

2.)  Health.  We have hope when us and our loved ones are healthy and we have despair when illness strikes its ugly head.  I struggle particularly with this false hope.  Health comes and goes, it fluctuates and hoping in our health will leave us on an emotional roller coaster.

3.) Position/Power.  Many times we get hopeful when we have a new promotion or additional power at work in or in other civic positions.  We put our hope in the fact that things are going well and we are becoming more powerful.  This is a terrible way to live.  Position and Power come and go.  They are nothing to put our hope in.

4.)  Abilities.  We put our hope in our abilities.  We feel hopeful when we can bring our "A game."  Hoping in our fading abilities is silly.

5.)  Children and Their Successes.  This could certainly be an entire post but sum it up to say that hoping in our children can lead to all kinds of disaster and despair in our lives.

6.) Political Party.  Since I have been born (1982) I have seen 20 years of Republicans and 16 years of Democrats.  Some good, some bad but clearly politics holds no hope for this sin sick world.  Whether you favor D's or R's or even I's please understand that placing hope in politicians is a losing proposition.

So then where do we put our hope?  We put it squarely in Christ and His finished work on Calvary.  Christ will never fail us.  He will never leave us or forsake us.  He is our rock and anchor.  Worthy of our trust and hope.

This Easter I encourage you to examine where your hope lies.  Is it in things of this world or in the unfailing Savior of the World.  Is your hope in the physical or Spiritual? 

The incredibly cool thing is that when we do put our hope in Jesus Christ all the other things naturally fall into place.  Placing our hope in Jesus gives us peace to accept what comes our way financially.  It gives us courage to face an uncertain future in terms of health or jobs or the political landscape.  Hope in Jesus leads to comfort and peace.  Hope in the things of this world lead to despair, discouragement and depression.

May you be filled with HOPE this EASTER!

Live 2 Lead 2017 Notes

Executive Summary

Live to Lead

November 9^th, 2017

Notes taken by Paul Lundy

On Thursday, November 9th (a little late posting, I know) I had the privilege to attend the 2017 Live to Lead event.  The event was actually held much earlier nationally but due to several factors our local group hosted their event on November 9th.  Below is a summary of the notes I took from the event.  Should be a very quick and easy read but the speakers were excellent and I hope each one below could share something that will help you in your leadership journey.

John Maxwell

“If you aren’t changing, you aren’t growing.”

‘If you are still happy with what you were doing 5 years ago you have real problems.”

Common denominator of leaders – Leaders see more than others see and they see it before others see it.

“See more More and More Before

1.)     How to increase more More and more Before

a.)    Understand it’s out there if you chase it

b.)    Think Abundance

c.)     Creativity says there is always an answer

d.)    Flexibility says there is more than one answer

2.)    Nobody wants to buy less and less

3.)    People buy into something bigger than them

4.)    Develop a Process to find more more and more before

a.)Test

b.) Fail

c.) Learn

d.) Improve

e.) Re-enter

                1.) If you never improve and re-enter you may appear tenacious, but likely you are just stupid.

I don’t care how good you are right now, you can get better.

5.)    Ask questions to help you know more more and more before

6.)    Intentionally grow everyday

7.)    Invest time with people and places that will inspire you.

Average people want you to stay average.

Dave Ramsey

Serve others well and you will make money

Managers Count Stuff

An organization with no entreprenuers is “government.”

Organizations are never limited by their opportunities, they are limited by their leadership.

You are the problem in your organization but you are also the solution in your organization

All the attributes of leadership are attainable.

The quirky brilliance of an organizations founder can only take the organization so far.

When you are a leader you must have power, but rarely use it.

Bosses push, leaders pull

To be a true leader you must be a servant.

Cheryl Bachelder

Are people better off because of your leadership?

3 Key’s to Popeyes (Chicken Restaurant) Turnaround

1.)    Declare a Daring Destination

2.)    Choose to Serve

3.)    Deliver Results

Do you love those you lead?

Love, not as a feeling, but as an action.

There are no great leaders without results

How to become a Dare to Serve Leader

1.)    Courage – Are you courageously leading your team to a place beyond their wildest dreams?

2.)    Humility

How well do you know your followers?

Do you demonstrate your love for your followers?

Your leadership should deliver standing ovations.

Serving in a Full-Time Capacity

Some times there is an alignment of opportunities that almost defies explanation.  It's that eerie feeling hits you and you know something supernatural has just occurred.  For me one of those circumstances aligning, blow your roof off type moments happened yesterday.  Some may say it was a coincidence, but I believe in God and His sovereignty over the affairs of man.  I don't believe in coincidence and I don't think things "just happen."  I had one of those moments yesterday and I can't wait to share it today.

Here is what happened.  Several weeks ago (Mid-December) I wrote a series of Sunday School Lessons about "Gaining God's Favor."  I was prepared to deliver the fifth and final lesson yesterday (January 7th).  One of the key elements I learned about in my study on Gaining God's Favor is alignment with what God is doing.  For example: God used Nehemiah to restore the physical protection of Jerusalem as the exiles were returning.  In the same way God used Ezra to restore the spiritual foundations of the nation of Israel following exile.  Their lives aligned with a need that God wanted taken care of.  The challenge to my Teen Sunday School Class was "Are you willing to consider Full-Time Christian Service for your life?" 

I had that lesson prepared weeks prior to yesterday.  Then two events of note took place prior to church yesterday morning.  One was that I was up early and my boys and wife all slept in.  Those two things almost never, ever simultaneously occur.  Another event worth noting was that since the first two things happened I was able to read my devotional book BEFORE heading into church.  Another event that almost never happens as I usually do most of my reading in the early afternoon or after everyone else has gone to bed.  Because I was able to have devotions in the morning I was able to read the following devotion prior to teaching the lesson on "Full-Time Christian Service."

Amazingly, here is what Author (and Congressman) Jim Ryun, in his book The Courage to Run had to say on January 7th (the 7th entry of his devotional book): One Eye on Eternity (some excerpts) "It has often been said that men and women who truly do great things in this life have kept one eye on eternity.  When I consider the lives of committed Christians... I see a common thread. To a person, their focus was on Christ and eternity while fulfilling their time on Earth."  WOW! WOW! WOW! God truly wanted me to see and be able to teach on the value of living our lives full time for Christ.  Congressman Ryun goes on to say that some of the greatest accomplishments for Christ have come from people who were "counted fools at one time or another, but they were willing to lay down this world's fame and wealth to achieve truly great things. They had one eye on eternity."

I was able to weave that day's devotional into my Sunday School lesson and challenge our teens to consider Full-Time Christian Service as their career choice.  Let me challenge you to consider the same.  I read an interesting quote from one of my former basketball players, Seth Parris, recently.  He made the statement in a tweet "Funny how many seminary students feel "called" to the big cities and never a small country church #christians." I have often thought the same thing when I hear Christian college students claim that they are being "called" to teach in public schools (where the pay is typically 2-3 times higher than christian schools).  Not to demean anyone who is serving in a well-paying position in a large city church or teaching in a well paying public school, but God does call people to lower paying, less prestigious posts all the time.  How many of these people are missing out on God's true calling in favor of a fatter paycheck and more opportunities for them personally.

The teens in my Sunday School were asked what types of jobs can be considered "full-time ministry positions?"  Most only came up with Pastor, Youth Pastor or Teacher.  I challenged them to think a little more creatively and pretty soon we realized that almost any profession can be done for God in a Full-Time Ministry setting.  The church and its related ministries need doctors, lawyers, teachers, coaches, nurses, accountants, computer and tech people, etc., etc., etc.  My group of High School students quickly realized that everything can be done for Christ that can be done in a secular setting.

Next we considered the reasons that many Christians don't consider Full Time Ministry positions as careers.  The answers basically boiled down to 1.) Earn Less Money 2.) Fear of the Unknown (like being called to be a missionary somewhere like Africa, or even worse places like New Jersey or Alabama) 3.) Less Prestige Personally or 4.) Less opportunity for advancement.

If you have read this far please take just another moment to consider my final thought.  Are any of those reasons valid?  When you stand (and then fall down before Christ someday) are you really willing to say to Him that you worked in a secular field simply because you wanted more money and a more prestige?  Are you willing to think that you won't be terribly ashamed of how you selfishly spent your life living for your pleasures and security?  I am asking you to spend some time in prayer today, and tomorrow and for at least a few days and strongly consider whether or not you may be a candidate for Full-Time Christian Ministry.  Whatever experiences, qualifications, skills and degrees you possess can be used to further the Kingdom of Jesus Christ.  Are you willing to pray and seek God in this area? 

Maybe you will still be led to serve Christ in a secular setting.  I am so glad for those of you who are able to serve in that arena.  We need you there shining Christ's light into the darkness.  However, I believe that many are called to Ministry that are not answering the call.  Parents, are you willing to let your sons and daughter attend a Christian or Bible College?  Are you willing to support them if they decide to go into Full Time Ministry?  Remember you will stand before God someday.  I hope that when you and I do we are able to answer the question "Did my career make a difference for Christ?"

Leadership Changes Things - Biblical Leadership Suggestions for 2018

Leadership Changes Things

“Everything will get worse naturally over time. Positive change only occurs when someone decides to make positive changes.”

Examples:  Run down houses can be restored to beautiful homes. – HGTV

Our bodies, we gain weight and get unhealthy effortlessly but lose weight and get in good shape only with extreme work

Our Brains – Use it or Lose it.  Think algebra skills you had in HS but that have seemingly disappeared now.

Our Relationships will break down easily, it takes work to maintain them.  Marriage, Family and Friendships.

NFL Examples of Leadership Making a Huge Difference:

1.)    Sean McVay – New Coach of LA RAMS. Completely turned the team around (4-12 last season and 7 wins as best season in 5+ years).  This year they are currently 11-4.  He instituted a Culture of Accountability.  Started fining players for being even 1 second late to meetings, practices, etc. No excuses allowed! His leadership has made a huge difference for this team.

2.)    Tom Coughlin – Former Coach of NY Giants.  Led team to 2 Super Bowls. Let go 2 seasons ago.  Now is an advisor to Jacksonville Jaguars.  Jaguars are now poised to make the playoffs for the first time in 10+ years and the Giants are an utter disaster since he left. Culture of an Experienced Winner.

3.)    Jimmy Garoppolo – Tom Brady’s (New England Patriots) Back-up Quarterback for several seasons.  Gets Traded to 49er’s in the middle of this season.  The 49’ers were 1-10 before he started playing QB for them.  He has won his first 4 games and the team is now 5-10. Culture of Learning and Winning.

Leadership Changes Things!

Some Suggestions on How to Lead Biblically in 2018

1.)    Be Humble- Admit you Don’t Know Everything.  Humility gives God room to bless us.  Psalms 138:6, James 4:6

2.)    Be a Servant- Serve your family, your boss, your co-workers and your spouse.  Servant Leadership Says “What can I do for you?” instead of “What can you do for me?”  “You will either use  your people to build your position or use your position to build people.” Nehemiah 5:14-16

3.)    Be Present – Be Where You Should Be – 2 Samuel 11:1 – Make time with those you lead a key part of your life.

4.)    Be Consistent – Allow those you lead the luxury of knowing what to expect day in and day out.  There is great comfort and security in knowing that the one you follow is consistent.  Don’t make your family, team, co-workers or followers guess what type of mood you are in.  Nothing is more frustrating to followers than not knowing what to expect.  Ephesians 6:4

5.)    Be a Vision Caster – Have a Vision of a preferred future for your family, your organization, whatever you lead.  Have a plan to make people’s lives better, more fulfilled and be able to implement that plan.  “Where there is no vision there is no hope” George Washington Carver. Proverbs 29:18

6.)    Be a Teacher – Everyone loves a person who can teach them something new.  Teachers (not in the strict, professional sense of the word, but to include anyone who can teach us something) are an extremely valuable and much loved person in any society.  Be a person who can teach others things and you will greatly bless anyone who follows you.  Particularly teach your children how to live for Jesus Christ.  Provide opportunities for them to see how God has blessed your family and will continue to bless you in the future.  Proverbs 22:6, Joshua 4:1-9

7.)    Be a Lover -  Love Your Followers. Love Your Family.  Love Like Jesus Loved and Love Those Jesus Loved.  I John 4:7-11

Does Sports Participation Build Character???

I had the opportunity to attend a 3D Coaching Clinic this weekend sponsored by Fellowship of Christian Athletes.  The entire clinic was a blessing and a great learning opportunity.  I am thankful for the chance I had to go and learn.  The presenter was a man by the name of Kerry O'Neil and the following thoughts come from him and his organization with a few of my thoughts sprinkled in.

One of the many questions he asked was:  "Does Participating in Sports Build Character?"  Since the room was filled with 40 or so coaches the overwhelming response was "Yes, Absolutely, sports build character."  Mr. O'Neil's next question of course was "What character traits do sports build."  Typically, the answers provided (one came from me) were Dedication, Teamwork, Sacrifice, Time-Management, Organization, etc.  You could probably add a few others to the list but that is the basic idea and all the coaches in the room agreed.  Mr. O'Neil then rocked my world.  He said "Do you know who also possesses those qualities in very high amounts other than athletes?  Terrorists and most master criminals."  Terrorists are highly organized, work in teams, manage time well and make tremendous sacrifices to further their cause.  You could hear a pin drop.

Mr. O'Neil explained that the above character traits are "social traits" and while good, they are not ideally what we should be teaching our athletes.  He claimed that as coaches we must be teaching our athletes "moral traits."  For those of us in Christianity we must be teaching the next generation "christian values."  Coaches who only teach, model and require social characteristics are not doing much at all.  He states that to be an effective coach and leader we must be teaching "moral/Christian" character qualities.  Those qualities include empathy, integrity, trust, value of human life.

Mr. O'Neil claims that a 20 year study that involved 70,000 athletes, coaches, parents and and former athletes shows scientifically that participation in sports actually lowers an athletes attainment of "moral values."  That is shocking but looking back over my close to 18 years in coaching I can see how it may be true.  Sports participation is not necessarily valuable in building the "important" values in young people.  Basically, it all comes down to who is coaching and how they are coaching.  We as coaches must be teaching, modeling and requiring our athletes to gain moral/christian values if we are to be effective.