Better Communication

On Wednesday, January 23rd I had the opportunity to attend The National Seminars Training session on "Breaking Bad Communication Habits."  The other day I was asked by my Senior Pastor to present the info that I learned at the training to our church staff at The Open Door Church.  I was asked to put a "Christian" spin on the information.  I felt that this would be an easy task since all wisdom flows from principles laid out in the Bible.  Even common sense, practical wisdom used in the secular workforce can be traced back to the teachings in the Bible.  Here are my combined notes from when I spoke to the staff:

                                                        Better Communication Habits

Proverbs 21:23 "He who guards his mouth and his tongue, guards his soul from troubles."

-I want to take a few minutes and talk about the fact that we are always communicating and how to get our message out more effectively in our area of ministry.

-Remember that we spend all day, every day communicating.  When you think communication think sending and receiving signals.

                -We communicate via – verbally, visually, written word (email, social media, notes, books, etc.), and through our image (body language, attitude, word selection and tone of voice).

                -7% of a person’s response to your communication will be based on your words, 38% based on your tone/attitude and 55% is based on your image.

                -Body Language and Appearance communicate far more than language.

                -To improve your effectiveness as a communicator improve your attitude and image.

                -To improve your attitude there are a few things to try:

                                -Coffee, Health, Prayer Life, Servant’s Heart, Focus

                                                -Under Focus – With each instance of communication attempt to improve the lives of whoever you are communicating with.  For us in ministry, each communication opportunity should in a small way point others to Christ.

-To improve image take a look at your face and clothing.

                                -Put a smile on your face. Some of us may have to fake it for a few weeks until it becomes more natural.

                                -Dress – We have always heard “Don’t dress for the job you have, dress for the job you want.  Cross that out immediately.  It doesn’t work.  If I did that I would come in every day dressed in a baseball uniform because the job that I want is shortstop for the Cincinnati Reds. Here is a new standard…Dress slightly better than the audience you will be communicating with.

-Basic Communication Filter

                -Pass all communication through this filter: Does it Honor God, Display Grace and Draw People to Christ?

                -“Don’t Hit Send” until you can answer all 3 questions.

                -Galatians 5:14-16 Filter “…You shall love your neighbor as yourself. But if you bite and devour one another, take care that you are not consumed by one another. But I say, walk by the Spirit, and you will not carry out the desire of the flesh.”

-Make your ideas “sticky.”  Ie. Make them stick in people’s minds.  Are you like me and have to constantly remind people about things you have already communicated with them?  In the Youth Ministry I am constantly telling people when/where an event or activity will be.  We use Facebook, a Newsletter, Church Bulletin, Announcements, Texts, Emails, etc. and still people don’t know what is going on.  How about as a teacher (which almost all of us in this room are at some point in our ministry schedules) would you like what you teach to be retained better by your students?

-Here are some ideas to help your communications stick in peoples minds:

                -Use Humor 

                -Use Visuals 

                -Change things up 

                -Use real life examples

-5 Step Process for Resolving Conflict:

                Say:

                                -Here is What I Observe….

                                -For Example (Do you remember this happening)…

                                -Here is what would work better…

                                -When you do this (here is the way they benefit):

                                -Can I count on you to:

-3 Keys to help resolve conflicts:

                                -Don’t say “never” or “always”

                                -Don’t attack personality, deal only with behavior (only if you  observe the behavior, never act on hearsay).

-Only deal with the behavior you are confronting at that moment