Over the weekend I dealt with a situation in which I was completely dissatisfied with a company for their customer service. I had reserved a rental car from a certain company on Friday night for an event on Saturday. I received a confirmation notice and everything was set. On Saturday (after finalizing plans for the event on Saturday) I received a call stating that they wouldn't be able to fulfill the reservation. I was very upset and frustrated. I had spent several hours making plans and reserving the vehicle, making arrangements, etc. for the event. I wrote the company a polite, but firm email stating my displeasure with their service. By Sunday they had responded in a very professional nature (as I am sure they have been trained to do) hoping to make things right. After reading their response, which contained at least several apologies, and offers of free rental cars for my next event, I found I was very much at peace with what had happened. I declined their offer for the free cars after hearing that this was a one time glitch and not a regular occurrence.
What had changed? Why had I been so put out on Saturday and then by Sunday I was again a satisfied customer? #1 is that they had listened to my concerns and offered a sincere apology. #2 They explained the situation and promised to do better in the future. #3 I have had a positive experience when working with them in the past. Let's break down each of these reasons for my change of heart and how I went from being upset to a satisfied customer in the span of one email:
#1 They listened to my concerns and admitted that a mistake had been made. They Listened and Admitted that a mistake had been made. They didn't become defensive or try to make excuses. They didn't blame anyone or anything else. Obviously a mistake had occurred. It would have been pointless to try to deny that. They didn't escalate the situation by passing the blame on to someone else. They allowed me to state my case and "blow off some steam." They took my pressure gauge from the danger zone down to the point where I could again think rationally and could come to an understanding.
Next time you are dealing with an irate follower, player, parent, church member, customer, etc. try this strategy. Listen and try to understand. Many times just the simple act of listening and allowing them to blow some steam is enough to satisfy them. Think about the last situation you were in where it seemed like no one cared enough to listen to you. Those feelings of frustration can just build up to the point where you do something stupid. Allow the people you serve to have an opportunity to release some of that frustration. Bring them into your office (or wherever) and allow them to share their concerns. Whenever necessary admit that mistakes were made and promise to find a solution to them. It is way better and 10 times more efficient to have them vent to you then to the rest of the world.
#2 After your followers have had their chance to blow off steam and get everything on the table it is then time to come back and explain how things look from your perspective. Never try to explain or defend while they are in the midst of blowing off their steam. After they have "emptied their gun" it is your time to explain the situation. Just like you want to see things from their perspective it is important for them to see things from yours. Once you have listened, admitted mistakes if necessary they are hopefully going to be open and receptive to listen to you and possibly even admit that they failed in a few areas as well. That is the ideal scenario.
#3 Build positive experiences with people so that when things do go awry you have something to fall back on. If you have worked with or lead someone for a decent amount of time you should have built up some credibility with that person. You should have a track record of doing the right thing so that when something does go amiss you can both realize the mistake and realize it is more likely a "one time thing" than a habit. The first two points in this post are reactive (what to do after something has gone wrong) whereas this point is proactive (building positive elements everyday into relationships). The more time you spend being proactive the less time you will need to spend reacting to problems.
I hope a few of these points will help you in dealing with the inevitable bumps along the way that every leader encounters.
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