This is part two of a post that I started on Friday. Friday's post was about a view of competition in which there is a winner and a loser. Check that out before reading this one.
Whether you are a Student, Athlete, Coach, Pastor, Teacher, Business Person or any other profession you will come across many situations where you have to compete. You will be faced with a challenge, a game, a proposal. Some type of situation where you will have to compete. It could be a test, a game, a meeting, a church service, a presentation, a sales pitch, whatever. You will be in competition. Let's look at a different paradigm (way of viewing things) that relates to competition. Here is the second way of viewing competition:
Open System/System can expand/Growth Based/Winning not determined by Outcome
-You are going through life learning, growing, training. Then you meet an opponent (Test, Game, Presentation, Meeting, Confrontation with your kids or students whatever it is that you face in your daily life). In this paradigm your success/failure is not determined by the outcome of the competition. You are judged (by yourself) on how you performed. Your success is determined by how close to our ability and potential to perform we came during the performance. If the gap between our ability to perform and our actual performance is small we have been successful. However, if the gap is large between what are capabilities are and how we actually performed we have failed. This paradigm emphasizes being in control of what we can control.
In this paradigm some of the following things happen:
-We view our opponent as something/someone who can help us grow
-We are thankful for the challenge our opponent presents
-We are excited to test ourselves v. a tough opponent
-We embrace the opportunity to experience difficult circumstances
-Our focus is on being OUR Best, not being The Best
-We can focus on the things we can control and not on external factors
-We focus on being ready to compete at our top level instead of worrying about what our opponent is doing
-Our competition aids us in achieving our goal of being our best selves.
-This paradigm emphasizes enjoyment of the journey, not just the end result
-In this view we are free to create something new, to focus on being beautiful, not just successful (winning v. losing). We are free to try new things and to grow.
-We compare ourselves only with our past selves. We never use other people, teams or organizations as a comparison.
-We can use our program/team/organization to build up people. We never have to use our people to build up ourselves.
Typical Goals within this Paradigm:
-Be our Best
-Play/Live with Character and Class
-Get Better Everyday
-Improvement over past self
Examples of those who Embrace this Paradigm:
-John Wooden - It shocks me how many coaches love to quote John Wooden but then have a coaching philosophy that is in stark contrast to what he taught. Coach Wooden emphasized reaching ones potential and success as being defined as doing the best we can with what we got.
-Artists - Typically artists are trying to be their best. Whether they are creating artwork, music or a symphony, artists desire to be their best, to create something new and better and to be beautiful.
-Myself v. Paul Melniczak in Tennis. I played tennis with my college roommate many times each spring and summer while in college. I estimate that my all-time record v. Paul was around 1 win and 75 losses. I rarely could push him to a high level of stress on the scoreboard. However, each time I played him I gained some insight and became a better tennis player. My goal was to be better, not better than him. As a result of all those losses (learning experiences) I became a much better tennis player.
-Apple Computers
For more information about how you can fully embrace this paradigm of competition I highly recommend "Start With Why" by Simon Sinek. Also check out "Lead, for God's Sake" by Todd Gongwer. Both books have had a huge influence on my views of competing and being MY Best.
Canoeing on Christmas 2015
Sunday, November 27, 2016
Friday, November 25, 2016
One View of Competition
Whether you are a Student, Athlete, Coach, Pastor, Teacher, Business Person or any other profession you will come across many situations where you have to compete. You will be faced with a challenge, a game, a proposal. Some type of situation where you will have to compete. It could be a test, a game, a meeting, a church service, a presentation, a sales pitch, whatever. You will be in competition. Let's look at one paradigm (way of viewing things) that relates to competition. I will be posting "An alternative view of competition) later on. Here is the first way of viewing competition:
Zero Sum/Winner-Loser/Finite/Winner Take All View of Competition
-You are going through life learning, growing, training. Then you meet an opponent (Test, Game, Presentation, Meeting, Confrontation with your kids or students whatever it is that you face in your daily life). At the end of the meeting with your opponent one person emerges victorious. This could be a big sale, a win in a game, a sale, a high score on an exam. When we win we feel superior, when we lose we feel inferior. Winners feel strong, losers feel weak.
In this paradigm some of the following things happen:
-We view our opponent as someone who must be beaten
-We view competition fearfully. After all it is a chance to lose/fail.
-We do whatever it takes to win (Usually within the rules, but sometimes we fudge it a little because winning is so important)
-Our focus is put on Winning and Losing
-We don't care how we perform or play or how our opponent performs as long as we win
-A weak opponent is cherished because we don't have to expend as much energy to win
-Our preparation only focuses on beating this particular opponent
-We work and prepare hard enough to win.
-Being the best is determined by wins/losses. Someone with many wins is far superior to someone with less wins.
-This paradigm is all about the destination - The next win.
-We view opponents as barriers to our success. Something to be overcome.
-Being THE Best is our main focus.
-We typically use our resources and people to build our program. We use our people to strengthen our position. People are useful if they help us succeed, useless if they can't help us win.
Typical Goals of People who use this Paradigm:
-Win at all costs
-Win the Championship/Make the Big Sale/Be Better than everyone else
-Be on Top of your profession
-Earn visible reminders of your success - Trophies, nice car/house
-BE THE BEST
-Beat our Opponent
Prime Example of This Paradigm:
Vince Lombardi (Legendary Coach of the Green Bay Packers). One of his famous quotes is "Winning isn't the main thing, It's the Only Thing."
Numerous other coaches at all levels of sports aspire to this type of mindset. Most "successful" business people and leaders of large companies are also steeped in this paradigm. My guess is that as you read this you could think of numerous coaches, leaders and bosses that you have had in the past who operate from this mindset.
**** Later I will post an Alternative view of Competition. I am by no means pushing this mindset, just trying to shine light on the view that many people in life hold. I am also not trying to disparage this mindset.
Check back later for the "Alternative View" to see which paradigm you currently operate from and how you would like to operate in the future.
Zero Sum/Winner-Loser/Finite/Winner Take All View of Competition
-You are going through life learning, growing, training. Then you meet an opponent (Test, Game, Presentation, Meeting, Confrontation with your kids or students whatever it is that you face in your daily life). At the end of the meeting with your opponent one person emerges victorious. This could be a big sale, a win in a game, a sale, a high score on an exam. When we win we feel superior, when we lose we feel inferior. Winners feel strong, losers feel weak.
In this paradigm some of the following things happen:
-We view our opponent as someone who must be beaten
-We view competition fearfully. After all it is a chance to lose/fail.
-We do whatever it takes to win (Usually within the rules, but sometimes we fudge it a little because winning is so important)
-Our focus is put on Winning and Losing
-We don't care how we perform or play or how our opponent performs as long as we win
-A weak opponent is cherished because we don't have to expend as much energy to win
-Our preparation only focuses on beating this particular opponent
-We work and prepare hard enough to win.
-Being the best is determined by wins/losses. Someone with many wins is far superior to someone with less wins.
-This paradigm is all about the destination - The next win.
-We view opponents as barriers to our success. Something to be overcome.
-Being THE Best is our main focus.
-We typically use our resources and people to build our program. We use our people to strengthen our position. People are useful if they help us succeed, useless if they can't help us win.
Typical Goals of People who use this Paradigm:
-Win at all costs
-Win the Championship/Make the Big Sale/Be Better than everyone else
-Be on Top of your profession
-Earn visible reminders of your success - Trophies, nice car/house
-BE THE BEST
-Beat our Opponent
Prime Example of This Paradigm:
Vince Lombardi (Legendary Coach of the Green Bay Packers). One of his famous quotes is "Winning isn't the main thing, It's the Only Thing."
Numerous other coaches at all levels of sports aspire to this type of mindset. Most "successful" business people and leaders of large companies are also steeped in this paradigm. My guess is that as you read this you could think of numerous coaches, leaders and bosses that you have had in the past who operate from this mindset.
**** Later I will post an Alternative view of Competition. I am by no means pushing this mindset, just trying to shine light on the view that many people in life hold. I am also not trying to disparage this mindset.
Check back later for the "Alternative View" to see which paradigm you currently operate from and how you would like to operate in the future.
Wednesday, September 7, 2016
Action!
My family has been very blessed over the Labor Day Weekend. We got to go to Dorney Park (large amusement park with roller coasters, kids rides and a waterpark). We also went to a Frederick Keys minor league baseball game. Our 3 year old son loved it. Probably the best part for him was riding the rides, running the bases and eating a bunch of junk food. He had a blast. There were so many things he could do and he was able to try many new things. Our 9 month old son did not have as good of a time at either event. At the amusement park he was stuck in his stroller almost all day. He couldn't get out and crawl around. He was either being held or strapped into his stroller going along for the ride or being held. He had almost no power to do anything he wanted. Same thing at the baseball game. He was stuck doing whatever the person holding him decided to do. His only recourse was to cry and throw a fit when he didn't get what he wanted.
Observing my baby son was interesting. It struck me how much his weekend was like the way many people live their lives. They feel stuck, trapped or forced to do what everyone else wants them to do. People stay in bad job situations because they are trapped by the income (massive, crushing debts and an out of control lifestyle have left them with little savings or flexibility) or fear of change. Instead of breaking free and doing work that matters or helps they stay "trapped" in a bad job. We feel powerless to change a poor relationship and struggle just to maintain the status quo. Instead of taking action to fix things we struggle through destructive relationship situations because we fear changing things might make them worse.
You have the power to ACT. You can change your situation in life, whatever it might be. BUT it will take action on your part. You may have to confront a boss, teammate, co-worker or family member. You may have to leave a job and the security that entails. You will definitely have to leave your comfort zone. You will have to step out on faith that what you are doing is right and that it needs to be done. The rewards will likely be immense in the long run, but be ready for some pain in the short term. Be ready to lose friends and even some family. But be ready to go so much deeper in your true relationships.
Two by-products or things that happen when you take action. #1 You go from cyring and whining all the time to using your voice to make a change. When my 9 month old is finally able to articulate his feelings in words his life will improve. Right now he has to get everything he wants by crying and fussing. That gets his problems solved most of the time. But when he can talk and tell us exactly what he wants he will be much more effective at solving his problems for himself. Same for us. When we can verbalize our desires and take action we are much more powerful at bringing resolution in our life. #2 Many people have resigned themselves to a life of inaction. They are 20, 40, 60 and 80 year olds who through inaction have relegated their lives to the hands and whims of others. They "go with the flow" accepting the things that happen to them as fate and have ceased taking responsibility for their situation. It would be like if my completely healthy and capable son never "outgrew" his current baby stage. Instead of learning to walk, talk and slowly become independent he continued to live in his stroller crying for food and other needs. It would be okay at nine months, but by age two or so he needs to be up taking action to better his lives. It is sad to see a 30 or 40 year old who has let their "action" muscles atrophy to the point where they cannot take action or make any significant choice.
Exercise your action muscles today. Take action to repair a broken relationship, fix a problem at work or completely change your life. Two often quoted quotes "A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step" and "anyone can eat an elephant if they simply do it one bite at a time."
Go Get 'Em.
Observing my baby son was interesting. It struck me how much his weekend was like the way many people live their lives. They feel stuck, trapped or forced to do what everyone else wants them to do. People stay in bad job situations because they are trapped by the income (massive, crushing debts and an out of control lifestyle have left them with little savings or flexibility) or fear of change. Instead of breaking free and doing work that matters or helps they stay "trapped" in a bad job. We feel powerless to change a poor relationship and struggle just to maintain the status quo. Instead of taking action to fix things we struggle through destructive relationship situations because we fear changing things might make them worse.
You have the power to ACT. You can change your situation in life, whatever it might be. BUT it will take action on your part. You may have to confront a boss, teammate, co-worker or family member. You may have to leave a job and the security that entails. You will definitely have to leave your comfort zone. You will have to step out on faith that what you are doing is right and that it needs to be done. The rewards will likely be immense in the long run, but be ready for some pain in the short term. Be ready to lose friends and even some family. But be ready to go so much deeper in your true relationships.
Two by-products or things that happen when you take action. #1 You go from cyring and whining all the time to using your voice to make a change. When my 9 month old is finally able to articulate his feelings in words his life will improve. Right now he has to get everything he wants by crying and fussing. That gets his problems solved most of the time. But when he can talk and tell us exactly what he wants he will be much more effective at solving his problems for himself. Same for us. When we can verbalize our desires and take action we are much more powerful at bringing resolution in our life. #2 Many people have resigned themselves to a life of inaction. They are 20, 40, 60 and 80 year olds who through inaction have relegated their lives to the hands and whims of others. They "go with the flow" accepting the things that happen to them as fate and have ceased taking responsibility for their situation. It would be like if my completely healthy and capable son never "outgrew" his current baby stage. Instead of learning to walk, talk and slowly become independent he continued to live in his stroller crying for food and other needs. It would be okay at nine months, but by age two or so he needs to be up taking action to better his lives. It is sad to see a 30 or 40 year old who has let their "action" muscles atrophy to the point where they cannot take action or make any significant choice.
Exercise your action muscles today. Take action to repair a broken relationship, fix a problem at work or completely change your life. Two often quoted quotes "A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step" and "anyone can eat an elephant if they simply do it one bite at a time."
Go Get 'Em.
Thursday, August 25, 2016
Do 1 Thing
Back on February 25th I blogged about an idea I had to determine and maximize your roles in life. If you haven't read that post or have forgotten it, go back and check it out. It is called "A Simple Test." Today I am going to encourage you to Do 1 Thing. I want you to have a list of your roles in life readily available (either mentally or physically). I want you to think about the most important parts of your life. The People and Activities you wouldn't give up for $1,000,000. Ok got 'em? Mine are 1.) Personal Relationship with Jesus Christ 2.) My Wife 3.) My Boys 4.) My extended Family 5.) Teaching and Leading Young People as a Full-Time Job 6.) Coaching Basketball and Soccer 7.) My relationships with Friends 8.) Reading 9.) Watching Sports on TV. These are pretty much the activities that I want to be defined by and where I want to spend most of my effort and energy. Yours may be different (I am guessing people are near the top of your list) but we are probably pretty similar. Values and Beliefs at the top, followed by family, followed by career and then some hobbies.
My encouragement today is to Do 1 Thing to benefit each of these roles this week above and beyond what you typically do. When we merely accomplish the basics in each role we pretty much survive from one week to the next. In our career we earn enough to pay the bills and hopefully save a little, our family gets our basic time and the relationships are preserved for another week. Our spouses get just enough attention to keep them minimally satisfied. I am challenging you and me to go 1 step further in each category than just the basics. Spend time in prayer (or however you express your values and beliefs) that is above and beyond. Serve someone, give a little more time at work, enhance your quality time with your family. Whatever it is, find a way to do something extra in each category. Let's say you devote an extra hour this week to each category. 10 hours may sound like a lot, but I bet if we turn off the TV and put down the smart phones we can get it done.
What are the advantages of Doing 1 Thing this week?
1.) We move from merely surviving and advancing to a new week to thriving and seeking a better life. There is great power that comes when we are in control. When we exert the control over our lives that allows us to do extra things we get a great sense of accomplishment. We feel empowered. We feel more like we control our destinies and our situations instead of them controlling us.
2.) There is great momentum that comes by simply Doing 1 Thing. What may start off slow can quickly build steam and become a great force. Even the Mississippi River starts out very small, but as it grows it gains more and more water and thus power and prestige. You can live the same way. Start small and see your small 1 Thing multiply throughout the coming weeks.
3.) The Power of Being Proactive. It may sound like a huge requirement to give up 10 hours over the next week. I believe that the time will pay incredible dividends. When we are proactive now it saves time later. Let me give you an example. Let's say my wife and I spend 2 hours a week in disagreements and miscommunications (Probably low for us since I can be difficult some days). What if we took an hour each week to go on a coffee date. We sat down without phones or boys or anything else to distract us. We are able to talk and have great communication. We plan the week ahead and just get very open with each other. My guess is that those 2 hours spent in misunderstandings the next week will shrink to virtually nothing. I just saved myself an hour. What if I stay at work an extra 30 minutes once a week. I can get organized and ahead of potential problems. Again I am saving myself time. Being proactive allows me to operate in the realm of "What is Important in Life?" instead of in the realm of "I have to rush around to take care of this emergency."
Give it a try this week. Write down 7-10 areas of your life that you consider most important to you. Find an extra 30 -60 minutes this week to do 1 Thing Extra in each area. I am betting the time pays off and you will see significant growth in that area of your life.
My encouragement today is to Do 1 Thing to benefit each of these roles this week above and beyond what you typically do. When we merely accomplish the basics in each role we pretty much survive from one week to the next. In our career we earn enough to pay the bills and hopefully save a little, our family gets our basic time and the relationships are preserved for another week. Our spouses get just enough attention to keep them minimally satisfied. I am challenging you and me to go 1 step further in each category than just the basics. Spend time in prayer (or however you express your values and beliefs) that is above and beyond. Serve someone, give a little more time at work, enhance your quality time with your family. Whatever it is, find a way to do something extra in each category. Let's say you devote an extra hour this week to each category. 10 hours may sound like a lot, but I bet if we turn off the TV and put down the smart phones we can get it done.
What are the advantages of Doing 1 Thing this week?
1.) We move from merely surviving and advancing to a new week to thriving and seeking a better life. There is great power that comes when we are in control. When we exert the control over our lives that allows us to do extra things we get a great sense of accomplishment. We feel empowered. We feel more like we control our destinies and our situations instead of them controlling us.
2.) There is great momentum that comes by simply Doing 1 Thing. What may start off slow can quickly build steam and become a great force. Even the Mississippi River starts out very small, but as it grows it gains more and more water and thus power and prestige. You can live the same way. Start small and see your small 1 Thing multiply throughout the coming weeks.
3.) The Power of Being Proactive. It may sound like a huge requirement to give up 10 hours over the next week. I believe that the time will pay incredible dividends. When we are proactive now it saves time later. Let me give you an example. Let's say my wife and I spend 2 hours a week in disagreements and miscommunications (Probably low for us since I can be difficult some days). What if we took an hour each week to go on a coffee date. We sat down without phones or boys or anything else to distract us. We are able to talk and have great communication. We plan the week ahead and just get very open with each other. My guess is that those 2 hours spent in misunderstandings the next week will shrink to virtually nothing. I just saved myself an hour. What if I stay at work an extra 30 minutes once a week. I can get organized and ahead of potential problems. Again I am saving myself time. Being proactive allows me to operate in the realm of "What is Important in Life?" instead of in the realm of "I have to rush around to take care of this emergency."
Give it a try this week. Write down 7-10 areas of your life that you consider most important to you. Find an extra 30 -60 minutes this week to do 1 Thing Extra in each area. I am betting the time pays off and you will see significant growth in that area of your life.
Wednesday, August 17, 2016
Small Things Over a Massive Amount of Time
Man, I wish it was a lot easier than it is. I have goals I would like to accomplish, things I would like to get done and proficiencies I want to obtain. I want to be really good at things, or maybe just something. I want to reach success in some area. But it takes a lot of work. Success is best achieved when reached through many, many, many small steps forward and even a for steps backward.
Whenever I start a new venture I really hope that it is "my prodigy" moment and I can achieve a high level of success almost immediately. I was this way with golf. It looks so easy when you watch it on TV. It looks (and is) really easy on the Nintendo Wii. It is not easy when you try it in real life. To illustrate how bad at golf I am I once shot a 48 on 9 holes and by 48 I mean that is how many balls I lost.
I am constantly looking for the get- rich- quick investment where I can turn $1,000 into $250,000 in a matter of months. I want to be able to have a great marriage quickly. I want success in my professions of teaching, leading and coaching. I want it now. I want to be a great public speaker and I want to have hundreds of followers on Twitter. I look at people who have made it and want what they have. Oh yeah, and repeat after me, I Want it Now!
It is hard for me to comprehend how hard guys I admire have had to work. How many times they were up at 2am for a flight or up past 2am to keep writing to make a deadline. It is easy for me to say I want the success of a Coach K, Dave Ramsey or John Maxwell. But am I willing to work as hard as they have worked? Am I willing to undergo the amount of stress and trauma that they have? Am I willing to work as hard as they have? While no one will deny that Michael Jordan was an incredibly gifted athlete he was also one of the hardest workers ever. Kobe Bryant was known for beginning his daily workouts before 5am. They were naturally gifted for sure but they also paid the price and struggled to reach the top. All we see is these phenomenal men at the pinnacle, we rarely see the struggle to get there.
Be encouraged. While it can be frustrating and long journey to reach the heights in your career and dream that you want to reach, know that it can be done. Almost none of the men and women that we admire reached it to their dreams because of natural talent alone. The overwhelming majority of our heroes had to struggle and work to reach the top. Even those who invented something (see Steve Jobs and Thomas Edison) there are countless hours and failures spent before the breakthrough.
Bottom Line is that it takes untold hours (more likely years) of behind the scenes work and sweat and tears to reach your dreams. They can be accomplished if you are willing to take one step in the right direction each day. Success is found in taking small steps towards your dreams over a massive amount of time.
Whenever I start a new venture I really hope that it is "my prodigy" moment and I can achieve a high level of success almost immediately. I was this way with golf. It looks so easy when you watch it on TV. It looks (and is) really easy on the Nintendo Wii. It is not easy when you try it in real life. To illustrate how bad at golf I am I once shot a 48 on 9 holes and by 48 I mean that is how many balls I lost.
I am constantly looking for the get- rich- quick investment where I can turn $1,000 into $250,000 in a matter of months. I want to be able to have a great marriage quickly. I want success in my professions of teaching, leading and coaching. I want it now. I want to be a great public speaker and I want to have hundreds of followers on Twitter. I look at people who have made it and want what they have. Oh yeah, and repeat after me, I Want it Now!
It is hard for me to comprehend how hard guys I admire have had to work. How many times they were up at 2am for a flight or up past 2am to keep writing to make a deadline. It is easy for me to say I want the success of a Coach K, Dave Ramsey or John Maxwell. But am I willing to work as hard as they have worked? Am I willing to undergo the amount of stress and trauma that they have? Am I willing to work as hard as they have? While no one will deny that Michael Jordan was an incredibly gifted athlete he was also one of the hardest workers ever. Kobe Bryant was known for beginning his daily workouts before 5am. They were naturally gifted for sure but they also paid the price and struggled to reach the top. All we see is these phenomenal men at the pinnacle, we rarely see the struggle to get there.
Be encouraged. While it can be frustrating and long journey to reach the heights in your career and dream that you want to reach, know that it can be done. Almost none of the men and women that we admire reached it to their dreams because of natural talent alone. The overwhelming majority of our heroes had to struggle and work to reach the top. Even those who invented something (see Steve Jobs and Thomas Edison) there are countless hours and failures spent before the breakthrough.
Bottom Line is that it takes untold hours (more likely years) of behind the scenes work and sweat and tears to reach your dreams. They can be accomplished if you are willing to take one step in the right direction each day. Success is found in taking small steps towards your dreams over a massive amount of time.
Tuesday, August 2, 2016
I Want to Be the Best
Tina Turner sang her song "Simply the Best" and it became a famous commercial advertisements for a truck company. Her song stated "Your simply the best, better than all the rest, better than anyone." I assume this was a love song written to express her feelings for a husband or boyfriend. That is not what this post will be about. Recently, it has hit me that in many instances I am no longer striving to the best at whatever I am doing. I am simply trying to get through the days and get the vital tasks completed before moving on and doing other vital tasks. My guess is that I am not alone.
We should all desire to be the best in every area of our lives. We all have different roles and areas of responsibility. I have found that most people have between 6-10 roles in life that they must perform. Are you striving to be the best in each of those areas? For me, my roles include Husband, Father, Teacher, Coach (2 Teams), Youth Leader, Blogger and several others. What would it look like if I truly devoted time and effort into being the best in each role instead of just trying to accomplish the basic, vital tasks required of me in each one?
First, decide on what roles you have to fill on a weekly basis. That should tell you what areas you should be trying to be the best in. If you need help determining the roles you play or what roles are most important to you check out my blog post titled "A Simple Test." That should help you narrow down the areas of your life where you can consciously decide to be the best. To me I want to be the best Coach, Father, Husband, Youth Leader and Teacher that I can be. My desire is to be the best in the world at each of these roles. Remember the saying "If you aim for nothing you are likely to hit it." I would rather set a big, ostentatious goal and fall a little short, than to set a small or no goal and hit it. Simply put, I want to be the best.
Next, decide what it will take to get you to your goal. Map out a vision for what it would look like to be the best in each area of your life. Once you decide what it would look like to be the best decide what it will take to get there. For me, several things have to go, or be significantly decreased, from my life. I need to spend much less time on social media. I need to spend much less time reading news stories on the internet. I need to put down my IPOD and Phone and focus on reading articles and books that will help me reach my goal of being the best. I also need to get in much better shape physically so I have the energy to pursue greatness in my life. I need to eat better. Hopefully you are getting an idea of what it will take for you to reach the top. I need to make small changes in my life that will allow me to reach my potential. What are some small changes that you can make today to step closer to being the best? I like the saying "a journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step." Similarly, "You can eat an elephant by taking one bite at a time." I can't become the best today, but I can take steps in that direction this morning.
Good Luck. Get energized or maybe reenergized and start reaching for the best, not just satisfactory or good enough.
We should all desire to be the best in every area of our lives. We all have different roles and areas of responsibility. I have found that most people have between 6-10 roles in life that they must perform. Are you striving to be the best in each of those areas? For me, my roles include Husband, Father, Teacher, Coach (2 Teams), Youth Leader, Blogger and several others. What would it look like if I truly devoted time and effort into being the best in each role instead of just trying to accomplish the basic, vital tasks required of me in each one?
First, decide on what roles you have to fill on a weekly basis. That should tell you what areas you should be trying to be the best in. If you need help determining the roles you play or what roles are most important to you check out my blog post titled "A Simple Test." That should help you narrow down the areas of your life where you can consciously decide to be the best. To me I want to be the best Coach, Father, Husband, Youth Leader and Teacher that I can be. My desire is to be the best in the world at each of these roles. Remember the saying "If you aim for nothing you are likely to hit it." I would rather set a big, ostentatious goal and fall a little short, than to set a small or no goal and hit it. Simply put, I want to be the best.
Next, decide what it will take to get you to your goal. Map out a vision for what it would look like to be the best in each area of your life. Once you decide what it would look like to be the best decide what it will take to get there. For me, several things have to go, or be significantly decreased, from my life. I need to spend much less time on social media. I need to spend much less time reading news stories on the internet. I need to put down my IPOD and Phone and focus on reading articles and books that will help me reach my goal of being the best. I also need to get in much better shape physically so I have the energy to pursue greatness in my life. I need to eat better. Hopefully you are getting an idea of what it will take for you to reach the top. I need to make small changes in my life that will allow me to reach my potential. What are some small changes that you can make today to step closer to being the best? I like the saying "a journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step." Similarly, "You can eat an elephant by taking one bite at a time." I can't become the best today, but I can take steps in that direction this morning.
Good Luck. Get energized or maybe reenergized and start reaching for the best, not just satisfactory or good enough.
Sunday, July 3, 2016
Why Travel League Sports Make me Uncomfortable
I have been uncomfortable around "Travel League" sports for many years. It is a topic that gets me frustrated almost like no other. For many years this feeling of "uncomfortability" has been vague and abstract. However, last week with time to think (I was at the beach) I was able to distill my thoughts and came up with some very concrete reasons that "Travel League" sports make me uncomfortable.
For the sake of ease of communication I will define any sports that take place outside of the oversight of a school district as "Travel League" sports. That is a broad definition and I know it will suck some very worthy sports and events into its scope that may not deserve to be there.
My qualifications to write this article include: Officiating at Travel League Soccer Matches, AAU Basketball Tournaments, attendance at many AAU Basketball tournaments for recruiting (which for at least the time being I have sworn off), and many conversations with teenagers, coaches and officials over the course of my 11 year teaching career.
In no particular order here are the reasons that travel league sports make me uncomfortable:
-Families are spending thousands of dollars in order for their kids to participate. I would guess on an average travel league season a family can spend close to $5,000. That includes team fees (some places charge upwards of $5,000 per participant just to play), travel (parents and families in hotels, eating out, tournament entrance fees, etc. These kids are run all over the state or in many cases the country to play a sport. The costs add up extremely quickly and go extremely high. I know a dad who estimates he spent close to $30,000 over his sons 8 year soccer career on travel, participant fees, etc. That is a ton of money. I heard of a family whose son played AAU Basketball skipping mortgage payments so he could play for his team. The magazine article celebrated this "investment" in his future. DUMB, missing mortgage payments so your son can play basketball is DUMB.
-I hate the travel that kids are putting in along with families. I know of kids from Harrisburg who travel to Pittsburgh (approximately 200 miles each way) on a school night to play for a particular travel league team. 400 mile round trip on school nights is not wise under any circumstances. I know other families who routinely (several nights a week) who travel over 200 miles on a school night for practice. Then on weekends these kids regularly put in another 500-700 miles on the road for tournaments. Week after week, month after month this time on the road adds up to hundreds of hours. I don't think that is wise.
-I am uncomfortable with the fact that families are missing out on family and church time. I know many families who send one kid one direction (hundreds of miles) with one parent for a volleyball tournament and another chunk of the family heads another direction for soccer or softball. Families are meant to be together, especially, on the weekend. Instead of waking up late on a Saturday and enjoying the benefits of rest and relaxation these kids are headed for a hotel breakfast and then the gym. Typically, these kids only play close to 3 hours max of their sport but it takes a whole weekend to accomplish this minimal playing time. These families are separated from early Friday morning (work and school) through late Sunday night. These families are also missing church (if that is a priority for them).
-I am uncomfortable with the specialization and overuse injuries that occur because of travel league sports. It is conventional wisdom in the Physical Education, Physical Therapy and Wellness communities that athletes cannot and should not play their sports year-round. Muscles and bones become overused and more likely to be injured. The fatigue brought on by the travel and many extra games and practices (I know of a coach who bragged that his team played an astonishing 127 games in one calendar year) cause injuries. Over-use injuries are much more likely in athletes who play year round. I am all for the 2 and 3 sport athletes. Quit thinking that specialization is the path to greater skill and glory. Let's celebrate the athletes who can play multiple sports.
-I am uncomfortable with the creepy adults who populate the travel league circuits and get rich preying on the hopes and dreams of young athletes and their naive families. Put simply, many travel leagues exploit the athletes for sake of financial gain. They make massive sums of money on entrance fees, spectator admission fees, concessions etc. There are also many creepy adults who look to latch onto a promising prospect in the hopes that they will one day earn some money playing professionally. Both of these behaviors are exploitative and the number of adults preying on kids is absurdly high in travel league sports, in my opinion. There are also hoards of parents and coaches who are looking to live out some kind of fantasy life by coaching teams. There are many parents who try to relive their past through their kids. The percentage of creepy adults is significantly higher in travel league sports than it is in school based athletics.
-I hate the fact that many kids quit playing the sport they used to love around 10th grade because of burnout. You simply cannot play soccer year round from 2nd grade - High School without getting tired of the game. Parents push players relentlessly (to fulfill their own ambitions and feed their own sick egos) to the point the kids simply quit playing. I see it every year with approximately High School Sophomores. They either quit or start to resent the sport they once loved.
-I am uncomfortable with the parents who think that travel league sports are a path to a college scholarship. Many kids are awarded scholarships based upon their play in travel league events and tournaments. However, many more kids are simply not going to earn a scholarship no matter how many tournaments they attend. Families spend themselves broke (see the first point above) to earn a "mythical" scholarship for their average or below average athlete. If only the money spent on sports had been invested wisely the kids would have been able to easily afford college. Now broke parents (who are financially broke and heart broken because their kid didn't come close to a scholarship) are forced to realize that the Thousands of Dollars spent are gone and they have nothing saved for college. The truth of travel league sports is that many, many families are funding the opportunity for a very select few to earn scholarships to college.
****I know many families and individuals (who are good, strong families and people) who participate or allow their kids to participate. These are my opinions (most backed up by facts and studies, but nonetheless my opinions). This is my blog so I feel that I can share my thoughts. If you disagree with me, that is fine, but take a minute to consider the points I have made above.
For the sake of ease of communication I will define any sports that take place outside of the oversight of a school district as "Travel League" sports. That is a broad definition and I know it will suck some very worthy sports and events into its scope that may not deserve to be there.
My qualifications to write this article include: Officiating at Travel League Soccer Matches, AAU Basketball Tournaments, attendance at many AAU Basketball tournaments for recruiting (which for at least the time being I have sworn off), and many conversations with teenagers, coaches and officials over the course of my 11 year teaching career.
In no particular order here are the reasons that travel league sports make me uncomfortable:
-Families are spending thousands of dollars in order for their kids to participate. I would guess on an average travel league season a family can spend close to $5,000. That includes team fees (some places charge upwards of $5,000 per participant just to play), travel (parents and families in hotels, eating out, tournament entrance fees, etc. These kids are run all over the state or in many cases the country to play a sport. The costs add up extremely quickly and go extremely high. I know a dad who estimates he spent close to $30,000 over his sons 8 year soccer career on travel, participant fees, etc. That is a ton of money. I heard of a family whose son played AAU Basketball skipping mortgage payments so he could play for his team. The magazine article celebrated this "investment" in his future. DUMB, missing mortgage payments so your son can play basketball is DUMB.
-I hate the travel that kids are putting in along with families. I know of kids from Harrisburg who travel to Pittsburgh (approximately 200 miles each way) on a school night to play for a particular travel league team. 400 mile round trip on school nights is not wise under any circumstances. I know other families who routinely (several nights a week) who travel over 200 miles on a school night for practice. Then on weekends these kids regularly put in another 500-700 miles on the road for tournaments. Week after week, month after month this time on the road adds up to hundreds of hours. I don't think that is wise.
-I am uncomfortable with the fact that families are missing out on family and church time. I know many families who send one kid one direction (hundreds of miles) with one parent for a volleyball tournament and another chunk of the family heads another direction for soccer or softball. Families are meant to be together, especially, on the weekend. Instead of waking up late on a Saturday and enjoying the benefits of rest and relaxation these kids are headed for a hotel breakfast and then the gym. Typically, these kids only play close to 3 hours max of their sport but it takes a whole weekend to accomplish this minimal playing time. These families are separated from early Friday morning (work and school) through late Sunday night. These families are also missing church (if that is a priority for them).
-I am uncomfortable with the specialization and overuse injuries that occur because of travel league sports. It is conventional wisdom in the Physical Education, Physical Therapy and Wellness communities that athletes cannot and should not play their sports year-round. Muscles and bones become overused and more likely to be injured. The fatigue brought on by the travel and many extra games and practices (I know of a coach who bragged that his team played an astonishing 127 games in one calendar year) cause injuries. Over-use injuries are much more likely in athletes who play year round. I am all for the 2 and 3 sport athletes. Quit thinking that specialization is the path to greater skill and glory. Let's celebrate the athletes who can play multiple sports.
-I am uncomfortable with the creepy adults who populate the travel league circuits and get rich preying on the hopes and dreams of young athletes and their naive families. Put simply, many travel leagues exploit the athletes for sake of financial gain. They make massive sums of money on entrance fees, spectator admission fees, concessions etc. There are also many creepy adults who look to latch onto a promising prospect in the hopes that they will one day earn some money playing professionally. Both of these behaviors are exploitative and the number of adults preying on kids is absurdly high in travel league sports, in my opinion. There are also hoards of parents and coaches who are looking to live out some kind of fantasy life by coaching teams. There are many parents who try to relive their past through their kids. The percentage of creepy adults is significantly higher in travel league sports than it is in school based athletics.
-I hate the fact that many kids quit playing the sport they used to love around 10th grade because of burnout. You simply cannot play soccer year round from 2nd grade - High School without getting tired of the game. Parents push players relentlessly (to fulfill their own ambitions and feed their own sick egos) to the point the kids simply quit playing. I see it every year with approximately High School Sophomores. They either quit or start to resent the sport they once loved.
-I am uncomfortable with the parents who think that travel league sports are a path to a college scholarship. Many kids are awarded scholarships based upon their play in travel league events and tournaments. However, many more kids are simply not going to earn a scholarship no matter how many tournaments they attend. Families spend themselves broke (see the first point above) to earn a "mythical" scholarship for their average or below average athlete. If only the money spent on sports had been invested wisely the kids would have been able to easily afford college. Now broke parents (who are financially broke and heart broken because their kid didn't come close to a scholarship) are forced to realize that the Thousands of Dollars spent are gone and they have nothing saved for college. The truth of travel league sports is that many, many families are funding the opportunity for a very select few to earn scholarships to college.
****I know many families and individuals (who are good, strong families and people) who participate or allow their kids to participate. These are my opinions (most backed up by facts and studies, but nonetheless my opinions). This is my blog so I feel that I can share my thoughts. If you disagree with me, that is fine, but take a minute to consider the points I have made above.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)