YOLO - You only live once

I recently taught a Wednesday Night lesson to my teen group on "YOLO" or "You Only Live Once."  In modern culture (or at least the limited portion of it that I have been exposed to) the term YOLO (You Only Live Once) has been a justification for Hedonism.  Live it up.  Eat, Drink and Be Merry for tomorrow we will die.  I think the YOLO idea is best captured in Miley Cyrus.  The "go around naked, do MDMA and live it up, crowd has stolen the YOLO idea.

It is true to we will only live once.  The Bible teaches in Hebrews 9:27 that each person has been appointed a time to die.  We only have so long on this earth.  My idea and challenge to my teens was "YOLO"- so make it count.  You will only have one go around in this life.  Do something that will outlast you, do something to help others.  The YOLO crowd tells our culture to give in to your desires, fulfill your wishes and needs.  You only have one chance at this so live it up.

One man explored the YOLO concept in greater depth than any other person who has lived. King Solomon wrote about his experiences in the book of Ecclesiastes in the Old Testament of the Bible.  In Ecclesiastes 2:1-11 he explained exactly how he lived it up (and he did it better than anyone in history).  He built Amusement Parks for himself (imagine having Disney and Six Flags as your backyard), he hired singers for himself (He didn't need an IPOD, if he wanted to listen to music he hired the performers and had a concert), he built magnificent houses, a spectacular temple and other great works.  He had 700 wives and 300 concubines (think sex workers at his personal disposal).  He used drugs and alcohol in abundance.  He said that anything he wanted, he had.  Nothing that he desired was denied him in his pursuit of happiness through pleasure. At the end of the chapter, after listing all of his pursuits he said "It is like chasing after the wind."  He realized that pleasures and even pleasures in abundance cannot bring happiness.  No matter how hard you embrace the YOLO lifestyle you will be left empty, struggling and battling many issues.

What is the answer then?  How can we be happy, satisfied and make the most of the our One Life?  Let's turn again to Solomon and see what he says.  In Ecclesiastes 12:12 He says after everything has been heard the secret to a great life is "Love God and Serve Him."  Realize that you are on earth for a reason.  You are not an accident and you can have peace and satisfaction.  You can make a difference.  Embrace the YOLO lifestyle and realize that you will only live once, so make a difference with your life.

What's the Big Idea?

What's the big idea?  That usually gets shouted out at me as I am in a hurry in a store and come within inches of smashing someone with my cart or driving too fast or erratically.  It usually has a very negative connotation to be asked "What's the big idea?"  Let's look at that question in a different light in this post.

What is the big idea of the group you lead?  Whether a church, team, family, business or other organization we are all leaders.  Take a look at a specific area that you lead.  Ask the question "What is the big idea? in this leadership role.  If you could only have one idea, one concept, one mission in each leadership role, what would it be?  What would be the one idea that defined your business?  Your Classroom?  Your team?  Your Church?  I know that each leadership position carries many different roles and functions.  Each group of people we lead requires many different things from us.  I will list a few of my leadership roles and describe the different requirements of that position and the one word that we try to accomplish in each position.  If, like me, you have trouble coming up with one BIG IDEA for each position, really think about it and how you would define the mission to an outsider.  This exercise may help you to refine exactly what it is you want to accomplish in that organization.

Role:

PSU Mont Alto Women's Basketball Coach:  Some of the basic tasks that I have to do each day/week in this position include game and practice scheduling, recruiting, academic monitoring, budgeting and financial management, planning travel and many other tasks.  The BIG IDEA here is EXCELLENCE.  We strive to be excellent in every facet of things we do.  We preach excellence over success.  Excellence requires practice and preparation, whereas success can happen to anyone from time to time.  Excellence puts the focus on us, success puts the focus on being just slightly better than others.

Father and Husband:  I have a million things to do each day to be a Father and Husband.  The one Big IDEA that I am focusing on in this area is TIME.  I want to be there for my two boys and my wife.  TIME, in large chunks makes a huge difference in the lives of my family.  My presence provides stability, peace and comfort.

Youth Leader at The Open Door Church:  My one BIG IDEA here is SERVICE.  I want to serve the kids that I have the privilege to lead.  I want the kids to grasp and seek after a life of service.  That is the reason we are on earth.  To serve God and serve His people.

Hopefully that gives you an idea of the ONE BIG IDEA concept and how to define your leadership roles.  I know that thinking through these ideas today as I was out and about this morning has helped me gain clarity and a renewed sense of purpose in each of my leadership roles.

Live2Lead Notes #2

This is the second post on my notes that I took at Live2Lead simulcast.  We had some awesome speakers and I left feeling challenged to be a better and improving leader.  Valorie Burton shared an awesome talk on Resilience.  Here on a few notes on what she shared.

5 Commitments When Bad Things Happen:
1.) I will not feel sorry for myself.
2.) I will not continue to stare at the closed door.
3.) I will not let my fears win.
4.) I will direct my thoughts.
5.) I choose to believe that all things work together for good.

7 Things to do to be Resilient:
1.) Picture your possibilities
2.) Use your failures and mistakes as a learning tool
3.) Reach Out- Find a real or historical person to look to for inspiration
4.) Put things into Perspective - ****Awesome thoughts here for catastrophizers (people who always assume a worst case scenario.  She taught that you think do the opposite in unknown situations when tempted to assume the worst.  For example, If you get a note from your boss saying "I need to see you in 5 minutes in my office, don't think I am being fired, I will lose my family and become homeless by weeks end.  Start thinking about the opposite best case scenario.  Something like I will be promoted to CEO, earn 5 times my current salary and get a car and driver.  By going all the way to the other end of the thought spectrum it helps to balance us out and keep things in perspective.)
5.) Operate with Optimism -  Optimists live longer and better lives (Research shows that those things happen over time to positive people.)
6.)  Serve - How is someones life better after they cross my path?
7.) Embrace Joy

Burton was an excellent speaker who again challenged me to think better and live better.

Live2Lead Notes

Yesterday I had the privilege of attending a John Maxwell Live2Lead Simulcast at Shippensburg University.  Thanks to the generosity of at least several people and organizations I was able to hear some phenomenal speakers.  I was challenged to live a more intentional, people focused life.  I left the simulcast feeling fired up and motivated.  Hopefully I can pass along a little bit of the learning I did yesterday to you through this post.

The first speaker was Pat Lencioni, the founder of The Table Group.  His teaching is outline below (all his thoughts and ideas, none of mine, consider this the citation notation).

Two Requirements for an Organizations Success:
1.) Smart - All the important stuff - reading spreadsheets, creating strong policies, m)  Buiarket research, etc.
2.)  Healthy - Minimal politics and confusion, High Morale and low turnover among good people.

He claims that most businesses are Smart (or could be). He asserts that most businesses/organizations are failing or struggling to create the all important Healthy environment.  He gave several examples of how some organizations had the smartest and brightest people but still lagged behind their competitors because of a toxic work environment.  Excellent points throughout this portion of the talk.

Lencioni claims "The healthier our organization is the more we get to tap into our smart side."  He said "The best companies are not the smartest, they are the healthiest."  He repeatedly used Southwest Airlines as a model of a very healthy company.

Four Keys of a Healthy Business:
1.)  Build a Cohesive Leadership Team
2.) Create Clarity (know what you do)
3.)  Overcommunicate your Clarity (Tell everyone a hundred times what it is you do)
4.)  Structure to Reinforce your Clarity (Make sure your processes and procedures support your mission)

How to build a Cohesive Leadership Team:
-Build Vulnerability Trust - Leader must be willing to say "sorry, I screwed up" or "I apologize, I was wrong this time, but I will figure it out and get better next time."  Leaders have to be vulnerable before their followers.
-Conflict - Be all about finding the right answer, not looking to tear someone down.
-Accountability - Be willing to hold people accountable for poor behavior/bad attitudes.  This is very uncommon

6 Questions to Clarify your Clarity:
1.) Why do we exist?
2.) How do we behave?
3.) What do we do?
4.) How will we succeed?
5.) What is most important right now?
6.) Who must do what?

More session notes to be posted under a different post.

Coming in HOT!

My basketball team had a saying last year.  Started by one player and then spread to all of us.  We got in the habit of saying "Coming in hot."  At first it meant that a shot was going to clang hard off the backboard or that a pass had too much pace on it.  It then took on a meaning off the court as well...Maybe our bus was following another car a little close, we were "coming in hot."

Later on it developed into a phrase to be used when a player or coach was a little upset about a call and got a little fiesty with an official.  It could have been a player who was mad at a coach or an AD who was mad about something.  They were coming in hot.

As a leader you never want to enter a situation "coming in hot."  In my mind a picture is formed of someone racing down the hall, steam coming out of the ears and entering a room yelling.  Someone who comes in hot shoots firsts and apologizes later.  This is a good way to destroy trust and turn off followers.

Here are some tips to avoid "coming in hot" to situations:

1.)  Be sure you get all the facts before making a judgement.

2.)  Literally take a deep breath.

3.)  Go for a walk.  It will lower your stress and give you time to do #1 and #2

4.)  Wait a day!  Most problems don't demand immediate attention.  Allow 24 hours to let everything (and everyone) settle down a little bit before addressing the problem.

5.)  Talk to everyone and try to see the situation from everyone's perspective.  Put yourself in their shoes and see how the situation looks from their angle.

Some of the worst moments and situations I have ever been a part of have happened because people "came in hot."  Try to be a leader who diffuses tensions instead of a leader who inflames situations.  Pour water on fires, never gasoline.

Make Your Teammates Better

The mark of a truly great athlete or leader is that they make those around them better than they can be on their own.  That is why they are great.  Michael Jordan, Derek Jeter, Ray Lewis all had the knack of inspiring their teammates to reach new heights.  They made their teammates better.

Making a teammate better can happen in a number of ways.  The first way is by example.  Kobe Bryant and Michael Jordan are legendary for their work ethic.  They were literally the first ones in the gym and the last ones to leave.  Neither of these great leaders were much into giving rousing, inspiring speeches.  What they did to improve their teams is show up, work harder than everyone else and challenge even lower level players to play way above their talent would normally allow.  They also had tons of talent themselves.  They created an environment in which no one wants to let them down, no one can ever give less than their best each day.

Other players have given up what is best for them in an effort to improve those around them.  Many players in professional sports have taken a pay cut or salary modification in order to allow the team to sign other, talented players.  Sometimes players take on a lesser role in order for others to shine.  That makes the team better.  Some players give up shots (or whatever applies in a different sport) so that others can get more involved.  Lebron James is an excellent example of someone who lessened their role in order to win.  In Miami he could have rightfully taken most of the shots, demanded the ball more and been the center of the enterprise.  He deferred on the court and it ended up netting him 2 NBA championships.  He will most likely be most known for his failures at the end of his career, but never forget that he was/is a winner who wants those around him to succeed.

These concepts translate into the spheres that you and I are likely to walk in each day as leaders.  We ultimately will be measured as leaders by our ability to make others better.  We can do that in many ways.  We can be quiet leaders who simply do the right thing, time and time again, even when a shortcut would be easier.  People are watching.  By living with high integrity and personal responsibility we are encouraging our followers to do the same.  We don't have to give rousing speeches, we can inspire by adding value to peoples lives each day.

Leaders can make sure that the glory for successes are reflected to others.  Even when we earned the spotlight, the accolades and the attention we support and bless those in our circle if we distribute the credit to our followers.  The next time your time "wins" make sure that those in a support role get the vast majority of the credit and you will find you have followers ready to run through walls for you.

Leaders are Servants

"If you are not serving, you are not leading."  (Plagarized, I mean researched quote).  A leader is called to serve those they are leading.  Coaches, Teachers, Pastors, Employers, your job is to serve those that follow you.  Providing service to those you lead is a fundamental function of leadership.  Your position does not give you power over somebody, it gives you an opportunity to serve them, to make them better to build them up.  Providing opportunities for followers to excel and grow is how you can grow as a leader.

If the people or organization you are leading has grown stagnant, check to see if you are expecting to be served,  or if you are serving.  Servant-Leaders who put the cares and concerns of their followers ahead of their own work in dynamic, growing and thriving environments.

Sometimes the word "servant" has a very negative connotation.  The poor, waiting on the wealthy, the powerless doing the biding of the powerful.  It is quite the opposite.  A servant leader is on the lookout for how they may help and empower their followers.  Change the way you view service.  To serve others as a leader find ways to empower and encourage them to fulfill the mission.  Imagine if you had 10-15 followers who were all inspired to work hard (after observing you modeling this priceless behavior), were empowered to do their job and encouraged that you really care about them.  How could your organization, team or classroom take off under those circumstances?

A week or so ago I had the opportunity to model some servant leadership.  A student had spilled a drink in the cafeteria.  I quickly sprung into action and began cleaning it up.  I was able to model to 100+ students in the vicinity that no job is "below" me and that I am willing to help out when needed.  Being a servant leader changes the dynamic from "how can they help me to accomplish MY mission" to how can I help them accomplish OUR mission."  That can be a very powerful change that can bring tremendous results.  When the phone rings at odd hours do you think "Oh Great, now what" (that is often my response, unfortunately), or do you think "Oh Great, an opportunity to help someone."  It makes a major difference.  Try it out this week.  Serve your followers, instead of expecting them to serve you.  See what a difference it can make.